1) Chinese people no longer sound like they are always arguing with each
other. That's just how they talk!
It took Chinese lessons for me to realise how much easier it is to speak
Chinese when it's a few decibels louder. Taxi drivers are not shouting at
me, they're just asking where I want to go.
2) You no longer whisper in Ikea in fear of waking people up.
If you are yet to venture to Ikea in Beijing you probably wouldn't know that
the show beds and sofas are filled with people sleeping.
It's
utterly bizarre the first time and you feel the need to tread carefully and
talk quietly.
3) You like drinking hot water.
It starts with drinking extremely mild green tea. Most water
dispensers have a built in instant boiling water tap making it an easy
option. In fact you have to pay extra for a dispenser with a cooling tap!
4) You pull faces for the 'secret' photos being taken of you by random
locals.
I'm not as popular as my blond friends or tall white girls but I still catch
the odd local trying to discretely snap a photo of me. The novelty wears
off pretty quickly at which point you like to make it extra clear that you know
they are taking a photo - or just dress up in wedding dresses and give them a
real reason to take a photo.
5) The stinky tofu at HouHai actually smells quite... no it still
stinks.
That horrible smell you get every now and then when enjoying a pleasant walk
around HouHai is something people eat! I believe in trying everything twice
before judging it; the smellier the better I've heard. I disagree.
It even challenges the theory that "Anything deep fried tastes
good!".
6) You have no issues in shouting "Waiter!!" in a quiet
restaurant.
Or more specifically "Fu Wu Yuan!!". It felt awkward and
rude in my first year. Now I have to restrain myself when back in
England. I don't care if it's rude, it's damn efficient!
7) You no longer double take at the child's butt cheeks poking out of their
split pants.
You will still however double take at a child being dangled over a public
bin whilst he/she pinches one off. Split pants as a concept go from
"what the hell is that child wearing!?" to "that's kind of cute
and probably really useful" over two years. Until you realise that
your baby vomiting over your shoulder is not the only concern for Chinese
parents.
8) You've forgotten how to use a washing machine.
And iron, wash dishes, mop, fold clothes and take the trash out (I should
add you also say trash instead of rubbish to this list!). Having a
cleaner in England is an absolute luxury and all they do is clean. Here
it costs close to nothing and they do whatever you want! I have never met
my Ayi but I know that she really is my one true love.
9) You have no issues eating this bowl of noodles with chopsticks whilst
wearing a white shirt.
A little part of me dies inside when the waiter looks at me and gives me a
fork and knife instead of chopsticks. I have no problems in putting my
lips to the bowl and slurping up delicious, chopstick shovelled, knife shaved
noodles. It's the only way to do it! You also don't care about
slurping.
10) You no longer look when you cross the road.
Because the roads in Beijing are safer? Hell no! Maybe it is because you
feel like you risk your life on a daily bases when cycling your bike, that now crossing
the road with your eyes closed no longer feels risky. It's how everyone
else crosses the road and you've learnt that only when you have made eye
contact with the driver they will
not
stop for you.
11) Sichuan pepper no longer tastes like soap.
I don't think there is ever a pleasant first experience of Sichuan
pepper. I don't know anything that tastes like it. Maybe some kind
of mixture made from washing up liquid and Bonjela would be close, but still
not an exact comparison. 2 years on, it still tastes like that but for
some reason I like it! Especially in green beans!
12) You no longer need a pollution monitor.
You've seen 0 to 800 many times and can now guess the AQI with a fair degree
of accuracy just by looking outside. A few more years and you can do it
by smell. I judge it by which row of buildings I can see out of my
window. If I can see the mountains, any time spent inside is wasted time!
13) You flick your 100rmb bank notes when you take them out of the ATM.
It's no longer infuriating getting the odd fake note from the ATM.
Just more of a nuisance. I've rolled over and accepted the fact that
there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. You try your best poker
face getting rid of them in day to day spending but feel the overwhelming guilt
when it is the cute old lady in the local market that falls for it.
14) You can hold your breath for well over a minute.
Either this or you have learnt how to hold in the desperate need to pee when
out in public. There's no law in China that says restaurants and bars
must have a toilet and so your only option is to go and use a public one.
Hold your breath or throw up.
15) You roll your shirt over your belly on a hot day.
OK so after two years I don't actually do this yet. But seeing
everyone else with the t-shirts rolled up to the nipples, does make me wonder
how much cooler (in both meanings of the word!) I'd be if I gave in to it and
did the same.
With over 7000 islands it can be quite daunting deciding which ones to visit. Getting between islands is a bit of a pain with the best way being to fly to Manila and then to the next island every time.
Internal flights in the Philippines are shockingly poor so leave plenty
of time between connections. We had two situations with bags not
arriving over the two weeks and dealt with a number of delayed flights. Flights aside we planned an almost perfect trip (read in full here) and this is what we did:
Day 2: Full day boat trip
Day 5+6: Cashew Grove (North Coron)
